A tear or two

I finally have time to sit and begin to process. The result is not that pleasant. Today is a bit hard for me. There is no reason why it should be. I guess it is just many little things beginning to add up. The team here is wonderful. They have welcomed me and loved me better than I could have asked for. My apartment is beginning to look like a home. Something is still missing inside of me. Friends. Friends are people you can call for no particular reason. They are just there to listen. They are people who care about the minute details. They know when to make you laugh and when to help you cry. While there are people here that I know. I do have friends. I don’t any close friends. I miss that. They help to form your identity and purpose. Even though I’ve seen God work in amazing ways for me and in me I still wonder what I’m doing here. I’m just here to learn the language. Even at that I will not receive any new material for probably two months. That’s somewhat discouraging. I want more and I’m forced to slow down and wait. I’m sure at some point I will understand. Right now it is just another frustration for me.
It is difficult to be here alone. The Mason’s are another new family. As a family they have their own hardships. They have more to unpack, more adjustments to make, and more people to satisfy. However, they have each other. They not only have one another at home but they can go explore together. Yes it’s harder to get out with a family. It’s lonely to explore by yourself. There’s no one to share with. When you see something cool who do you tell? When you get lost who will help you find you’re way home? I guess I didn’t really think I would be doing this by myself. Now I am. It won’t be easy. God will enable me. Today is just a hard day.