Emotions

Living and serving in Russia is not what I thought it would be. There are good days, like Friday, where I feel like I have a purpose. Unfortunatly most days seem pointless. I am still adjusting to my new life and settling into ministry. There are days that pass where I have nothing I need to accomplish. Of course I need to spend time with God and I need to be working on my Russian, but do I? No! The less I have to do the worse I use my time. It can be so frustrating.

Today was another good day. So I am writing this blog to remind me that there are good days and I need to keep plugging along. Vika, a first time visitor at kids club, came to church today! I can't think of a bigger blessing. A non believing child has now come to two events in a row. This is huge! I look forward to seeing much more of her.

Also today we had a guest preacher. He is a pastor in Samara, our pastor spoke at his church today. He spoke to me after the service and told me what I am doing is important. He is glad I am here. He told me the kids were telling him about all that we do. They told him what we were going to do today and how much they were looking forward to it. It is rare for a Russian to tell you they are glad you are here and you are making a difference. To hear those words from a Russian pastor means more than I can express.

While most of the time I feel useless I know it is only the enemy attacking me. I need to remain faithful, especially on the bad days.

This morning I was reminded of the hymn "Use Me Today" the words touch deeply on what it means to serve:
Use me today, O Saviour divine! Cleanse and renew this servant of Thine
Lord, with Thy Spirit fill, me, I pray; then, in Thy service use me today.
Use me today, Lord, use even me - use me to lead some lost one to Thee.
Lead where Thou wilt, Lord; open the way, and to Thy glory, use me today.
Use me today to scatter the seed, brining the blessing someone may need.
Whether I toil or quietly pray, Blessed Lord Jesus, use me today.