Self Control

     Self Control is a tricky thing.  In some ways I believe God has blessed me with an abudance of self control.  I don't get angry or yell.  I have never been interested in drugs or alcohol.  I am careful with my money.  The area that I do lack self control in is abundantly obvious by a simple glance in my direction.      

    As a little girl I always had a belly pooch.  Come to think of it that pooch is odd.  I hated most foods and I played outside as much as possible.  Still I was stuck with a gut.  It wasn't until I was fourteen that I cracked down and lost the belly fat.  It stayed off, for about 18 months.  I quietly hovered under 200 pounds until my next round of dieting.  At the age of 24 I found my stride.  The weight was gone and I enjoyed living an active lifestyle.  Then Russia happened.

    For every year I spent in Russia I gained 10 pounds.  That adds up my friends.  It took its toll on me physically and emotionally.  Life was stressful and extreemly busy.  I found myself gravitating to whatever was easy and quick.  Often that meant frozen pizza, ice cream, chips, and fast food.  By the time I left Russia I was at an all time high of 250.

    Upon returning to the states I worked hard to lose the first 30 pounds.  I couldn't seem to get past that point.  Then I found a new diet plan.  Off came the 70 more pounds.  I was healthy right!?  I hadn't learned self control.  More importantly I hadn't learn to rely upon the Lord.  I was using a system to find the body I wanted on my own strength.  Well, my strength gave out.

    Over the next few years the weight came back quickly.  A week ago I found myself inching towards my high point.  I had all but given up.  Then I listened to a podcast.  They talked about intermitent fasting and its benefits.  It helps with mental clarity, diabetese prevention, lowers cholestoral and inflammation, and it is amazing for weightloss.  So I looked it up.  It basically meant fasting for 16 hours a day.  I have fasted before.  This was a new concept to me.  Honestly, I knew I couldn't do it.  There is no way I can sustain a 16 hour a day fast for the rest of my life.  So I prayed.

    I asked God to be my self control and strength.  To draw me closer to Him on this journey to health.  Daily He has provided.  I'm not hungry, nor do I feel like I am missing out, it just feels like normal life.  I have a looonnng way to go.  In a few days I am 7.5 lbs down.  I am already sleeping better and feeling better.  I don't know where this new journey into self control will lead.  It does feel wonderful letting go and allowing God to guide this temple in the way He wants it to go.